


I'm Not Asking For The Moon

by ArcheaMajuar



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Nothing highly original, just another story of BJ accepting his feelings for Hawkeye because why not :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27994887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcheaMajuar/pseuds/ArcheaMajuar
Summary: “Beej… I…” Hawkeye shook his head before glancing back at BJ, incredulous, “I call it highly optimistic to believe we’ll meet ever again after the war. Once you return to your wife and daughter, you’ll forget of some guy you’ve met in Korea,” he waved his hand as if it was a sure thing, as if just the idea wasn’t making his heart shatter into million pieces.“You really think this?” BJ was staring at him, flabbergasted by Hawkeye’s words. How could he even… well… BJ didn’t want to dwell on the possibility he would actually do as Hawkeye insinuated, so he opted for quite a foreseeable argument: “You’re my best friend, Hawk!”
Relationships: B. J. Hunnicutt/Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce
Comments: 12
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue as I'm from the Czech Republic. There are mistakes in the story, I know, but I don't have anyone around to give me their feedback on the fic, grammar and so on (but if you'd like to let me know about the mistakes, please, do so in the comments bellow or just send me an email (you find it on my profile page), it'd be much appreciated)
> 
> I'm really sorry for the errors, but I hope you'll enjoy this work anyway :)
> 
> The title was inspired by a song Half As Good As You (that is referred to throughout the story) by Tom Odell feat. Alice Merton.

It was one of those gloomy days when you knew the sun was out there, but they rays weren’t really able to seep through the dense clouds. Besides people being on their shifts, people tended to accept the weariness of their bones, allowing their tired minds to rest, to dwell on the past or the future, or to occupy themselves with quiet, pleasant little chats. Therefore, as Charles was in the post-op, Hawkeye and BJ lied on their respective coats, uttering a few words from time to time, but mostly musing over their own thoughts, subconsciously grateful for the peaceful moment.

Having his eyes closed, Hawkeye returned to Crabapple Cove, picturing all the places where he used to play as a kid, picturing faces of some of his childhood friends. He smiled for a brief second before reality sank in, reminding him it was possible he would never see this places ever again. However, after the months spent in this hellhole, he was sort of immune to such thoughts, so he only grimaced, annoyed, and decided he would call his dad in the next day. He hadn’t heard his voice for what felt like eternity even though it was barely a week, but he missed him, and sometimes, he missed him so much he could feel his chest constricting with pain, his throat getting tight as if he was about to weep.

There had never been another person he was so close to but his dad, maybe with the exception in BJ, he mused and suddenly was smiling again, eyes opening and head turning to the side to look at his best friend, chilling on his bed. He was clutching on a letter he received yesterday, his expression happy and lost at once. And Hawkeye understood, he was taking personally the pain BJ must have been going through, so he gave him as much privacy as possible, and pointed his eyes to the ceiling.

Like any other war, the Korean war had been cruel to many, but at least, it sent him BJ. It sent him such a gentle giant whom made this Hell on Earth liveable, sufferable, and he hoped that he was capable of easing BJ’s pain at some points, making him laugh, making him forget how much he missed his family.

“Hawk? Are you awake?” he heard a question, uttered under the breath.

“Yes, I’ve slept enough in the last war,” Hawkeye remarked in his usual fashion. “What’s up, big feet?”

“How… how do you cope with this loneliness in… in the middle of a crowd? I know you miss your dad a lot, but… it seems you’ve made peace with it. You focus on the present day without… without getting all sombre the way I do,” posed BJ an unexpectedly deep question which Hawkeye wasn’t shocked about more as he was touched by the sheer honesty in BJ’s voice, by the fact how vulnerable he made himself here. 

“I miss him. A lot. But I don’t think it’s the same as with you, Peg and Erin,” Hawkeye said, letting his heart take over the conversation. “I love my dad and I can’t even think of not seeing him ever again. But the talking over the phone… it helps. It isn’t like being with him in the same room even though I can picture his smile vividly in my mind, it’s… it’s not enough. It helps, but… it’s simply not enough. And how do I cope?” Hawkeye snorted and looked at his friend, “I do not, I’m just trying to suffer through it, hoping there is an end of the war, and that it won’t last forever. It’s the same with being trapped here. I hate it, but… who else can help the wounded soldier than us? I might be send home one day, however, I’m not sure whether I’d feel good about being replaced by a person like you… a married man whose wife and kid are living in fear of losing husband and father. My dad… he has already lost a loved one. He knows how to… go through it. So… Yes, I miss him, but I know that other people are worse than I am. Some suffer more. Like you do. That’s why we shouldn’t compare it probably, as I even can’t imagine how much you miss Erin…”

Hawkeye’s monologue was answered with a long silence, leaving the both of them to grasp what they heard and said.

“When you have a kid, you’ll understand it. I’m sure of it,” said BJ, his voice serious, but already bearing hints of relief, knowing that it was alright to be screaming with sadness on the inside.

“I doubt I’ll ever have a kid, Beej,” Hawkeye said honestly, yet wasn’t sure whether there even were traces of regret. He felt too broken, too scared to raise an innocent human being, letting the child involuntarily absorb all the atrocities he had witnessed, all the pain he had endured. He couldn’t see ever being happy again, ever meeting somebody he could be happy with anymore. He wasn’t burnt out, he had hope of coming home and reuniting with his dad, however, there was only one other person he was having strong feelings for, and that one was married.

“Why not?”

“I’m not especially stable person, don’t you know? Afraid of commitment, and the way I see it, I’ll end up like a lifetime bachelor,” he snorted upon finishing the thought and sat on the cot, legs hanging down to the floor.

BJ was silent for a second before he grinned at Hawkeye, immediately easing the atmosphere in the tent.

“You know, you can always try to find out how good you can be with a kid around. Once we’re home, I’m inviting you over and I bet Erin is going to love you,” he suggested enthusiastically, already thrilled to see Hawk and Erin together, yet simultaneously thinking of Peggy’s reaction to his best friend. He wished she’d love him as well, but something was telling him she wouldn’t be so excited to have him in their house. For some reason, the idea came naturally to him, unsettling him deeply as he didn’t have the slightest notion why it occurred to him as a fact.

“Okay, okay,” Hawkeye chuckled, genuinely touched that BJ was so eager to meet Erin, yet he wasn’t capable of more joyful reaction out of various reasons.

“Just okay? You don’t seem particularly excited by the proposition,” inquired BJ, sitting on the cot as well, matching Hawkeye’s position and facing him, looking at him with disbelief that was yet to border with pain. Still, it was just suspicion, nothing like anger, but it could’ve been hadn’t Hawkeye offered him a sad smile.

“Beej… I…” Hawkeye shook his head before glancing back at BJ, incredulous, “I call it highly optimistic to believe we’ll meet ever again after the war. Once you return to your wife and daughter, you’ll forget of some guy you’ve met in Korea,” he waved his hand as if it was a sure thing, as if just the idea wasn’t making his heart shatter into million pieces.

“You really think this?” BJ was staring at him, flabbergasted by Hawkeye’s words. How could he even… well… BJ didn’t want to dwell on the possibility he would actually do as Hawkeye insinuated, so he opted for quite a foreseeable argument: “You’re my best friend, Hawk!”

“That’s not the same as a wife and a daughter,” Hawkeye’s smile got even sadder, his eyes being two blue pools of painful knowledge. “You aren’t going to think of me even for a while, and if you do, you will force the thought away because it will be too painful to rekindle anything from the war. Including me. Me and the war… once you’re back with your family, me and the war will be just two painful memories you’ll keep pushing away until the day I remain just a blurry silhouette of a man you’ve once known.”

“This is not true!” BJ spurted out, exasperated, “You’re not a clairvoyant, and were you making like one you wouldn’t be any good!”

Learning that Hawkeye wasn’t about to argue with him, having made his mind about that, BJ just sighed, rose up, and collapsed next to his best friend, looking at him fondly, yet his voice was desperate.

“You’re my best friend, Hawk, and I would have never done this to you. You’re a part of my life. It’s not even possible to forget you,” he attempted a weak smile, but BJ himself knew it was pathetic. Still, he managed to bring a touched smile upon Hawkeye’s lips as he wasn’t resistant to BJ’s determination to prove him wrong.

“How do I convince you?” he asked, looking right into Hawkeye’s eyes full of quiet adoration, sailing atop of all the sadness within them.

“There’s no need to convince me now,” Hawkeye answered softly as his heart was throbbing with love for his best friend being so keen on showing him how much he meant for him. It wasn’t his goal to bring such a state upon BJ, but… here they were. BJ desperately trying to persuade him that we would have never forgotten him, while Hawkeye was unable to believe it, however… however, he should give him the benefit of a doubt, he decided, respectively his aching heart decided, and therefore he added: “When it will have been a year since we reached our homes, and you remember at that day to call me, I reconsider my take on this. And when it will have been five years since we reached our homes, and we successfully arrange a meeting anywhere in the world, I admit I had it all wrong, and you are the best man in the world I could have ever met!” he suggested, and at the end of the sentence, he grinned almost happily at BJ who was smiling widely as well. He liked the idea, Hawkeye knew, and moreover, Hawkeye actually liked it, too, and of top of that, BJ didn’t look embarrassed when he called him the best man in the world. But… but Hawkeye thought that his eyes had never shone more beautifully than in that very moment.

“You’re going to be very wrong,” BJ winked at him. “Don’t you dare underestimating my feelings for you.”

At first, BJ didn’t realize how his words could have been understood, yet the cheerfulness he said it with didn’t fade away then. It only retreated to his eyes, while his lips settled for a little smile as he was looking at Hawkeye who was sort of expecting BJ would try to take his words back. But nothing like that happened. They were sitting close to each other and the partially addressed emotions hanging between them, yet it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. Hawkeye’s heart was thundering with hope despite guilt nagging at him, shouting at him he ached to kiss a married man.

“I’ll try,” conceded Hawkeye quietly, his eyes shining with adoration and remarkable softness when looking at BJ who seemed satisfied with the answer. Desperately, he fought with the urge to touch BJ, to draw him closer, and for a split second, he saw in BJ’s eyes something similar to want, yet it quickly disappeared together with BJ himself who opted for return to his cot.

Hawkeye felt even grateful for that as it solved his dilemma for the moment.

“Just… talk to me whenever you miss your dad,” asked him BJ before he laid down, glancing at Hawkeye pleadingly. “It’d assure me I’m not alone in my homesickness.”

“You’re never alone, Beej,” Hawkeye cracked a sad smile, gave BJ a nod to his question, and then laid back on the cot, eyes pointed towards the ceiling again. The sight was still the same, yet Hawkeye felt different as his insides fluttered, his chest hurt with newly sparked hope that he wished to bury deep within his soul.

BJ was totally in love with his wife and Hawkeye would have never forgiven himself to lure him into infidelity in any possible way…

Or would he?


	2. Chapter 2

“I promised and I’m going to stick my words,” BJ said the evening after Hawkeye returned from the First Aid Station where he thought he would die without saying proper goodbye to his best friend. However, he survived, had a sound sleep, and at the end of the next day, they were drinking a lot. Not to be utterly sloshed because they didn’t want to wake up Charles who had returned from his duty, so they were celebrating only moderately.

Still, Hawkeye heard BJ quite well and grinning at him, he showed him his cheek.

“Go ahead, cowboy, but just a chaste kiss because I’m a good boy,” he winked mischievously, and wasn’t even surprised that BJ didn’t hesitate, sat next to him on the cot a pecked his cheek in a quick, yet a rather sweet matter.

“I’ve missed you, Hawk, but now, I’m happy to be with you,” he said, his eyes gleaming with intoxication and sheer joy to which Hawkeye found himself unable to resist. His face already hot from their closeness, from the kiss BJ offered him, from his devoted expression, but Hawkeye maintained to keep his strongest emotions at the bay, settling for slipping his arm around BJ’s shoulders, managing to get them even closer to each other.

Leaning his temple into BJ’s, he said under his breath: “I’ve missed you as well… and was dead-scared I’d never see you again.”

Inhaling BJ’s scent, savouring the heat of his body, his presence… He felt great. Although his heart was aching and head buzzing, at this very moment he was happy because he had everything he would have ever hope to have during the wartime. He had his best friend and people he would straight away call his family.

“I was so scared, Hawk…” BJ admitted, his voice drenched in honesty as he hugged his friend around his waist. “So worried about you,” added the man quietly and the emotions dripping from his tone aimed right at Hawkeye’s heart, melting it utterly. He gulped and firmed the grip on BJ’s shoulder only to find his friend turning to him, embracing him properly with his long arms, and Hawkeye, perplexed, reciprocated.

He knew BJ was afraid, but he genuinely wasn’t expecting him to be so hit by it. More or less, he would’ve expected BJ to be sorry about the fact he should’ve been the one to help at the First Aid Station, but because he was at R&R, Hawkeye had to take his place. However, Hawkeye sensed that this was about something else as once BJ withdrew, he swiftly wiped his eyes, which left Hawkeye speechless.

Maybe… maybe it had something to do with their future, maybe their partition only reminded BJ the painful truth that once the war ends, they would separate for the final time and head to their respective homes. After living in each other’s pockets, they might get in touch mostly just by the phone. And the idea, no matter that Hawkeye had made peace with it, made his chest heavy, his expression crestfallen.

“Would you promise me one more thing?” he asked, surprising even himself by the sincerity of his words.

“Sure,” BJ said, and the lack of hesitating in his voice convinced Hawkeye his friend was now listening just to his heart, while his common sense was on the vacation at the Intoxication Bay. Otherwise, he would’ve had a smartass reply to his question at first.

“Do call me once we’re home, Beej,” Hawkeye said, eyes darting between BJ’s ones. “I’m not begging here, I only want to stay in touch with you wherever we are and whenever we are, and-“

“I will, Hawk. I’ve told you I will, don’t you remember?” chuckled BJ, yet the atmosphere remained serious, and the man as well. “I can’t wait to see you and Erin together.”

The touched glint of Hawkeye’s eyes mirrored in BJ’s, the silence filled with various feelings they held for each other.

“I promise,” BJ said in the end, and grinning lively, he leaned into Hawkeye once more and kissed his cheek. “As a receipt.”

“Great, but I’ve already received one kiss and I don’t want to be indebted,” Hawkeye protested in good humour, “I need to pay it back.”

“If you catch me…” BJ teased and despite the amount of alcohol flowing in his veins, he masterfully dodged Hawkeye's attempt to kiss him, yet the movements of both surgeons resulted in more Hawkeye’ attempts until they were playfully writhing on the floor. Hawkeye trying to pin BJ down to kiss him, BJ laughing and striving to free himself, while enjoying the situation as well.

“Gentlemen, would you mind keeping your activities quiet?” rumbled a morose voice from the other part of the tent, interrupting the friendly fight of two other residents. “Do not make me get up and tear you apart myself!”

Giggling, BJ and Hawkeye complied. They got up, took off the dirty clothes they were fighting in, and bid each other good night. As Hawkeye lied down and closed his eyes, he still could vividly picture BJ leaning into him and kissing his face, and then his eyes, shining with enthusiasm when Hawkeye was struggling to do the same as if it didn’t feel odd to him in the slightest. Hawkeye was sure that BJ revelled in their friendly fight, yet in terms of the kisses, he didn’t dare guess whether they made BJ’s heart fluttering, whether they made him feel so light and happy that he was about to forget there was a war going on… as if there were just the two of them…


	3. Chapter 3

Despite his intoxication, Hawkeye remembered their friendly fight the next day, and while his mind tried to keep his hopes low, Hawkeye’s heart was already aflutter when BJ gave him a little smile once he woke up. As the day went by, nothing seemed to be amiss, which Hawkeye welcomed, yet somewhere deep inside was reminding him that the way BJ reacted to his touches and his eagerness to kiss him meant something, and at least he should take it as a permission to be… bolder. Hawkeye didn’t like the idea as he was far from pushing BJ into anything, yet there were moments he wasn’t able to refrain from using BJ’s fondness.

He wasn’t sure whether he would’ve allowed himself a certain thing he had done when covering BJ with blanket one evening when his friend returned from the duty and immediately fell asleep. He only managed to hit the cot and he was snoring quietly, which urged Hawkeye from his own bed, picking the blanket, and spreading it over his giant roommate. Hadn’t been for the intimate moment they shared, he wouldn’t have dared to lean down and carefully, tenderly place a soft kiss on BJ’s temple.

“Now we’re even,” he murmured because he needed to have the last word, but his heart jumped within his chest when he realized BJ was smiling. Maybe he was sleeping, maybe he wasn’t, yet Hawkeye wasn’t brave enough to ask BJ, so he retreated to his cot and plunged into his wildly running thoughts. Reproaching himself for what he had done for a while, he then shrugged it off as he just desired to return BJ’s kiss to him. Nothing unsettling about it, he closed the case, yet it took only a few days before another memorable moment occurred.

In fact, it was Colonel Tomlin’s doing as he kept stressing that sacrifices during the war were necessary, and because he didn’t stop talking even when Hawkeye reminded him he was in hospital and that he was bound to take care of those sacrifices soldier that were fortunate enough to disobey the command to die, Hawkeye lost his temper. BJ’s reaction was apt though, so before Hawkeye threw himself at the Colonel, he grabbed Hawkeye under his shoulders, keeping him from attacking the man who was promptly lead away by Colonel Potter.

After a while spent with trashing in BJ’s arms and firing a salve of curses, Hawkeye relaxed. Slumped against BJ’s body, he was breathing hard, anger coiling through his veins, but his head was getting clearer.

“Thanks,” he uttered, still unsure whether it was right to be prevented from the attack, but he let BJ escort him into the Swamp without any further complaining. BJ seated Hawkeye on his cot and handed him a drink which he downed in one go.

“What’s getting in to you lately?” he asked, incredulous. “The Colonel’s a moron, but you wouldn’t have lashed out like that if you’d be alright. More or less,” BJ admitted as he sipped on the gin.

“You’re talking about Colonel Tomlin?” Charles looked up from his book curiously. “Pierce has punched him?”

“No, I managed to stop him,” BJ answered.

“Too bad. It would have revived my spirits immensely,” Charles literally simpered, earning an amused smile from BJ before he returned to reading.

“Why is war full of such idiots!” Hawkeye groaned, and in spite of the fact it was a rhetoric question, he received a clear answer:

“Because only idiots benefit from wars. And giant corporation, unfortunately,” BJ grimaced, disgusted by the state of affairs of the whole society, yet it didn’t make him forget the information he was after. “Is it your back again, isn’t it?”

Hawkeye nodded in resignation, looking all defeated and vulnerable.

“It’s been paining me for a week but today it seems that gin has finally started deconstruction of my body,” he sighed and tried to narrow his back, to stretch a bit, but judging from his suffering expression, it was of no use as his whole body was in agony.

“My offer is still intact, Hawk. I’ll give you a massage. I’m rather good at it,” BJ was quick to offer his help, aiming right at Hawkeye’s heart.

For a second, Hawkeye was decided to decline, yet the pain was terrible, getting on his nerves, and as they were informed, the next huge wave of casualties was estimated to arrive in three hours. He needed to be as operational as possible, and moreover… it meant BJ’s hands on his back… Gulping and staring at the floor, he shivered and contemplated whether it was a good idea to let BJ touch him like that, but in the end, Charles was present as well. The whole situation wasn’t about to get that uncomfortable… and heated…

“What do you say, sailor? Shall I board your deck? And back?” BJ grinned at Hawkeye, his eyes full of enthusiasm, his smile contagious.

“Only if I can be at the helm,” Hawkeye conceded, take off his shirt, and lied on the cot, expecting BJ’s hand to touch the skin every second.

“Sure thing. Just say if it’s too much,” BJ said, upon which his hands commenced the symphony played on Hawkeye’s back, or rather an odd kind of a cacophony as Hawkeye’s sighs didn’t follow any patter as well as the crackling sounds his back was producing under BJ’s ministrations.

“Pierce, you just can’t be quiet for a single second of the day, can you?” Charles teased him from the book, yet because Hawkeye heard the care within his voice, he didn’t comment on it.

“Even a mute person would be singing under my hands, Charles,” BJ uttered when systematically working on Hawkeye’s back, trying to untie the knots, trying to ease his friend from suffering.

“I doubt that. Pierce is far from singing. The sounds he’s making resemble a combination of a creaking bicycle and the crunching of a snow,” Charles informed them, and once BJ agreed and Hawkeye produced another whiny sound, major returned to his book, smiling in amusement. 

“That’s enough, thanks,” Hawkeye groaned, waited for BJ to remove his hands, and then he sat up, pulling his t-shirt over his head. “You’re talented, Beej, no doubts.”

“Do you feel better?”

“Yeah, a lot,” Hawkeye gave him a grateful smile. “I’d be glad to enjoy more of your gentle touches, but I’m afraid I’d melt under them.”

Although Hawkeye didn’t dare looking at BJ, he knew his friend was beaming with happiness. He was always eager to help and Hawkeye adored him for it. He was really feeling better, somehow fresh, and BJ’s palms and fingers upon his bare skin… so gentle and demanding at once… He shivered once again, and opted for a short walk to cool down a bit. It wasn’t like he wasn’t able to control himself when BJ was touching him, there wasn’t anything sexual about it, still it hit him hard how much BJ cared about him.

And the smile back then… when he kissed him… The more time he spent with BJ, the more he was thinking that his feelings might be reciprocated. And it was unnerving him, making him feel guilty, but hopeful at once. He still felt BJ’s hands on him, his eyes on him…

He didn’t know what to do and whether he should do anything at all. He was in love with BJ, while at first, he didn’t wish to let him know in the slightest, but now… now he was getting curious about BJ’s reaction because he anticipated it to be positive. Welcoming. Warm.


	4. Chapter 4

It was quite clear BJ was struggling with something, and Hawkeye was more or less sure it was connected with him. Of course, such an observation could’ve been caused by his tendency to see himself as the centre of the universe, yet this time, it really felt that BJ was troubled by their affection for each other. In other words, the both of them were aware of their feelings for each other and while BJ was fighting them, trying to supress them, Hawkeye had already resigned on that.

He didn’t mind it as he was, for once, happy to have his head clear about feelings for somebody, however, he was sort of desperate about the whole situation as he had no idea how to help his friend. He kept noticing the looks BJ was giving him, curious, confused, and fond at once, and suddenly, their relationship felt like the both of them were walking on a very thin ice that was about to break every second. However, it nobody knew what was underneath. It intrigued Hawkeye immensely, made him fantasise about it, yet he didn’t allow himself to let his thoughts surface.

One evening, Hawkeye remembered one of the visits in the camp by Sidney Freedman. They were discussing his visit taking two weeks instead of a usual couple of days, and Sidney confessed what was eating him up and most importantly, he revealed that when people suddenly stop being anxious, insecure, or only fidgety, they had made a decision. In BJ’s case, Hawkeye noticed he was suspiciously calm and cheerful one day, which continued throughout the whole evening and into the night. He seemed carefree, almost happy as if he also made up his mind, and therefore, Hawkeye watched him closely. His heart was restlessly aching, stomach tied in knots, and he was nervous because he knew that each of the decisions was about to hurt.

He had made peace with that fact BJ was never to be his, yet due to the past weeks his hope was alive and kicking, making itself known anytime they smiled at each other.

Sitting next to each other, their backs against the wall of the officers’ club, they spent the evening like that, having fun with their friends until all of them disappeared in their tents, sometimes with a brief intermezzo on the floor. After Klinger left, there were just the two of them, BJ and Hawkeye, both holding a bottle of beer. Neither of them was drunk as they could’ve been, and Hawkeye sensed it was appropriate not to do anything stupid, and as he was an expert on doing dumb things when drunk, he took his own words for it.

Moreover, he felt that BJ was tense next to him. Drinking, joking, but weirdly tense when their sides were touching, however, it seemed that not even a pair of horses would’ve dragged him away from his place. As they were alone, the silence was suffocating, irking Hawkeye to the core of his bones, and it was becoming obvious they should do something about this situation between them as he needed to be sure they could work together peacefully. Any possible friction between them could take its toll on the wounded, so decided to speak up, he looked at BJ who… who was already staring at him from the ridiculously minimal distance that was between them.

Gulping, Hawkeye couldn’t convince himself not to drop his eyes to BJ’s lips for a brief second before he met his eyes again, and this time he felt the emotions in them surging into his body, mind, and soul. He had never seen BJ looking at him like that, or he might’ve seen, yet BJ had always tried to look away. This time, however, Hawkeye trembled with the pure hunger BJ’s eyes were devouring him with. The desire, making the air in the club heavy and hot, prevented Hawkeye from opening his mouth as he was mesmerized by darkness within his friend’s eyes, by its intensity that made his heart throb.

Averting his gaze to recompose a bit, he experienced a powerful urge to hold onto something, to regain stability, and who had been his anchor for the past months?

Without thinking it through, his arm moved, hand being placed upon BJ’s thigh, gripping it firmly.

“What are you doing, BJ?” he asked quietly, yet there were no words coming in reply – just a palm, covering Hawkeye’s one in a gentle embrace, inducing a wave of warmth hugging Hawkeye’s violently beating heart. Hawkeye felt too weak to resist the gesture, and turning his hand upside down, he clasped BJ’s hand in his, squeezing it tightly as he looked up, staring into BJ’s beautiful hazel eyes.

“Don’t ruin your life because of me…” he said, seriously looking at BJ whose grave expression mirrored Hawkeye’s, but his eyes continued to shine with want.

“I don’t intend to ruin it, but I…” BJ trailed off, and searching for words, he looked elsewhere, but then he again fixed his gaze upon Hawkeye. With determination and his other hand clutching to his chest, he said: “There used to be just one part. Devoted and loving, but now… I’m not strong enough to fight the second part you’ve awoken in me.”

BJ didn’t finish the thought as Hawkeye interrupted him.

“Please, BJ, don’t blame me for that. I’m not the one looking lustfully at you,” he argued passionately, however, BJ just shook his head.

“I’m not blaming you, Hawk. I’m blaming myself for not being able to forget these feelings… to resist them, and to hang on my life I left in Mill Valley. I need you, Hawkeye… I want you,” he confessed with his heart on the sleeve, brushing Hawkeye’s palm with his thumb. His eyes were full of devotion, yet Hawkeye couldn’t shake off the guilty feelings that his devotion should belong to somebody else.

To Peg. To Erin. Not him.

Still, he didn’t flinch when BJ closed the gap between them, and as he felt BJ’s breath upon his skin, the warmth of his body engulfing him, he kissed Hawkeye. It was only a soft touch of his lips, yet it didn’t melt Hawkeye’s resistance as he remained cool, too absorbed in consequences that this little moment could bring in the future.

Once BJ withdrew his lips, looking at Hawkeye closely, expectantly, Hawkeye just shut his eyes, shivering at the feeling when… when his mouth was robbed of that delicate touch he yearned to experience once again.

“You’re a father, BJ,” he whispered as he didn’t trust his voice at all. He looked at his friend, trying to talk some sense into him before it was too late for the both of them as his heart cried and his hands begged to have BJ as close as possible. “You’re a father, and I won’t let you ruin everything you love because of me. At least one of us needs to be reasonable, and if it’s not you, it must be me.”

“You don’t understand, Hawk,” BJ insisted, taking both Hawkeye’s hands into his while trying to convey all of his feelings by his intense gaze into Hawkeye’s eyes, hanging on them, being ever so honest with them. “You ARE my life now. Here. In Korea. I’m sane and functioning only thanks to you… thanks to what we… have here…”

His eyes were darting between Hawkeye’s, yet his friend still appeared suspicious, reserved, and lost as he desperately wanted just to be with BJ and unleash his love free, yet his respect of marriage, his moral compass kept holding him back.

“But I don’t want to be responsible for bringing your life to ruins, BJ. In the end, you’ll regret it,” Hawkeye stubbornly resisted, clutching BJ’s hands, his chest constricted with intense emotions hanging in the air, yet his head was clear about that. He should leave and let BJ comprehend what was said, but the way his best friend stared at him, longing and starving… There might be… there might be just one simply predicament they could…

He knew they might’ve been clutching on a straw, but at one moment, he sensed that BJ was thinking about the same thing. He saw the glimpse within his eyes, the glimpse of an idea that could resolve their situation for the time being.

“I’m not asking for the moon, Hawk… I ask for you and for now. Until the end of the war, Hawk,” BJ was the first to voice it, and the fact that they were really clutching on the same straw made Hawkeye marvel at how much the both of them wanted to be together. And that BJ was really sure about the leap he was about to take.

“Until the end of the war,” Hawkeye heard himself repeat, signing his sentence, and dragging BJ along.

Upon that, Hawkeye felt his doubts and feelings of guilt and remorse fading away because he had tried everything to sway BJ’s mind, and he had run out of ideas. BJ was adamant and his kisses were the same once their lips touched again, kissing Hawkeye lovingly, but with an almost palpable hint of urgency. And Hawkeye reciprocated with fervour, tasting BJ’s lips properly, internally beaming with joy and love he desired to show BJ, holding him close, caressing his cheek, slipping a curious hand underneath his t-shirt.

They were kissing as if their lives depended on it, and it may have been exactly what they really needed to survive the hell. However, the kisses weren’t enough, and because the both of them were eager to get their hands on each other, Hawkeye simply crawled atop of BJ’s lap, straddling him, feeling his growing hardness against his own crotch, while he deepened the kiss, cuddling with BJ’s tongue, and savouring he was grinding against the man of his dreams…

The man he had been in love for months, the man he wished to kiss, to hug, to care for… and in fact, it was BJ who insisted on being together. Until the end of the war, but right now, such a moment was far away in a distant future as the war seemed to drag on for eternity. And then, he knew it would be hard to part with somebody as close to him as BJ, but even now he was grateful he had met him because… because just having his lips on his own, just hearing the muffled moans coming from his mouth as their groins touched, just the knowledge of their mutual feelings appeared as something unbelievably beautiful.

Right here and right now, BJ was his… until the end of the war.


	5. Chapter 5

Upon his return to Maine, Hawkeye was often thinking of BJ. Sometimes the memories came out of blue, catching him off guard, exploiting his vulnerability when missing his best friend, and sometimes he rekindled them on purpose during quiet evenings when listening to the radio. Either smiling or silently crying, he enjoyed these moments even though they hurt and tortured his aching soul. He had made peace with parting BJ who had returned to his family, of course. He wasn’t indifferent about it, but he knew it was a right thing to do. The only good thing to do, and the memories of their moments together were all that was left. Still, he was grateful to spend the remaining months of the war in BJ’s arms and bed. He loved him, yet he knew he belonged among somebody else.

He was thrilled to hear BJ’s voice a week after they had separated their way as the both of them were interested in their respective journeys. They were long, but of course with happy endings, and while BJ described his reunion with Peg and Erin, Hawkeye depicted how emotional he was when he finally hugged his father after three long years. Although their conversation over the phone was amicable and warm, Hawkeye sensed there was something BJ wasn’t telling him, but he didn’t push as usually. They exchanged some jokes before hanging up, and only then Hawkeye realized he missed the man more than anything else now. His smile, his hug, his touch… and his big, big heart.

“I wish I was so fortunate to find somebody half as good as you…” he sighed, and even though feeling a bit ridiculous and a bit pathetic, he meant every word of it. And this bunch of words kept haunting him ever since he had spoken with BJ despite the fact he hadn’t heard from him from that day on. He understood and it was true that Hawkeye himself was rather busy with greeting everybody in Crabapple Cove, visiting some of his former classmates in Portland and as he was probably a masochist at heart, he popped into Boston to say hi to Trapper.

It was a pleasant meeting, but the days when they were close were long gone, and despite being sad about it, the both of them agreed to keep in touch mostly just by phone. Hawkeye wasn’t a fool though, figuring out Trapper felt guilty about everything that happened and unwilling to reconnect with him properly. Still, it made Hawkeye dwell on the question why he hadn’t fallen for him instead of BJ, but sure he knew the answer. Trapper was just his sidekick, and BJ his partner in crime, his confident, his… his everything.

And it wasn’t just the memory of BJ, but mostly the acknowledgment of the differences between BJ and Trapper that induced a set of sleepless nights and gloomy days. Since he had returned, he had been hoping to find somebody half as good as BJ someday, however, by looking back at Trapper, he realized he had already met one. Trapper was at least half as good a friend as BJ, yet the bond he forged with Trapper couldn’t hold a candle to the one he had formed with BJ.

With the quiet support of his dad and enough work, Hawkeye managed to be pretty functional. Two days a week he worked with his father, two days a week he worked at Medical Centre in Portland, and through the rest of the week, he tried not to go crazy. His body needed rest and he was constantly tired as if his weary bones intended to erase the sleeping deficit he had amassed in Korea. And some of the sleepless nights were taking its toll as well, yet he took his father’s advice not to work too hard now.

Fortunately, his spirits weren’t left low for long periods of time as not only his dad was taking care of his mental health, but also Sidney, Margaret, Colonel Potter, and Radar were calling him regularly, while he reached out to Klinger and Charles on his own. He couldn’t believe it, but Charles was rather pleased to hear him, even offering him that he would be able to get him a job in Boston were he in need of one. After the months they had spent together, it seemed that Charles was happy not to see him again when they bade each other goodbye, yet in the end, Charles must have been fonder of him that he had guessed. They were friends, but judging from the tone of his voice when they were speaking, Charles was really touched to hear from him.

Only BJ wasn’t calling him anymore and despite being hurt, Hawkeye wasn’t cross with him because of it. Focusing on his job and reconnecting with his old friends, Hawkeye was slowly accommodating to this peaceful way of life. One might’ve argued he was lonely, but he felt content. Calm. Safe.

Seven months after Hawkeye stepped on the soil of Crabapple Cove again, a telegram came. Hawkeye was standing by the phone, listening to the words that ignited something meticulously hidden at the bottom of his soul, and his breath hitched in his throat.

_Need to see you. I’ll come to CC anytime you say. Leave a message for the following number. Please. Love, BJ._

The words resonated within him. At first, his mind was utterly blank, only grasping what BJ was saying him, then he totally succumbed to the joy it brought upon him.

_He is going to see BJ anytime he suggest!_

He knew he shouldn’t be that happy as it seemed his friend wanted to sort out something serious with him, something he deeply cared about as he was prepared to come from to Maine from California. Acknowledging that, he sent a telegram to the provided number with short instructions regarding the date (a week from that day) and an assurance he would pick BJ at the airport.

Hawkeye received a confirmation of what he suggested in two days, yet BJ insisted on reaching Crabapple Cove on his own due to unpredictability of the recent flies across the continent. Reluctantly, Hawkeye agreed because it could’ve easily happened he would be waiting at the airport for a whole day while he could be preparing the house for the guest.

Since BJ had confirmed he was coming, Hawkeye grew restless. Happy and keen on meeting his best friend, yet utterly nervous about the issue BJ needed to discuss with him. It was merely impossible not to fantasise about the worst case scenarios, but he constantly tried to curb his imagination and focus on his job. Still, he wasn’t surprised his dad noticed the change in his son’s behaviour.

“You’re literally beaming,” he remarked as they were sitting in the living room two days away from BJ’s supposed visit. “You are very fond of this BJ of yours, aren’t you?”

Of course, Daniel Pierce was aware of the close relationship the two surgeons had in the war. His son’s letters were full of mentions of that gentle giant from California and Ben didn’t hold himself back when talking about BJ once he got home, yet he had never thought of them being something more for each other. Only now, when Hawkeye’s eyes were shining with life and he was obviously looking forward to meeting his friend, the idea crossed Daniel’s mind. Had such an idea proven true, it wouldn’t have ever changed anything between him and Hawkeye as the only thing he hoped for was his son’s happiness. However, he knew that BJ was married…

“I am,” Hawkeye nodded, not exactly looking at his dad because he feared what he might see in his eyes. “Except you, I… I have never been so close to anyone else in my life,” he couldn’t refrain from saying it, revealing aloud how much he treasured his friend. It was true and he wanted to be as honest with his dad as possible, yet he wasn’t prepared to spit out the whole truth about himself. Not yet.

“He’s coming the day after tomorrow, isn’t he?” Daniel Pierce asked, and once Hawkeye nodded, he added: “I’ve been meaning to meet BJ that day as well, but I guess I’ll leave you two alone. I’ve been invited to Larry Banks anyway, so I’ll stay with him for… two or three days.”

Surprised, Hawkeye looked up, torn between thrill of having the house just for himself and BJ, and fear from being so vulnerable in front of his dad. It was irrational, but he couldn’t help the mild tremble, however, before he could dwell on what his dad was thinking of him, the older Pierce continued:

“You know, Larry has been asking me for months whether you remember his daughter Linda. He told me she was rather fond of you when you were kids, so maybe you’d be interested in… talking to her, but… Shall I tell him no, Ben?” Daniel raised the seemingly innocent question, but his son saw in his eyes what the stakes were. He knew what his dad was asking him in a rather subtle way not to startle him, not to hurt him…

“Yes, dad, tell him that I’m not going to… meet her,” Hawkeye gulped, but once his dad nodded and a small smile creped upon his face, a wave of relief washed over his body, leaving his soul light, his heart grateful.

“I’ve thought so,” Daniel said and sparkles of mischief gleaming in his eyes. “Say hi to BJ on my behalf. I’ll be leaving in the next morning,” he closed up the topic and they spent the rest of the evening in a soothingly peaceful atmosphere, rendering Hawkeye feeling as the happiest son in the world.


	6. Chapter 6

In the afternoon of BJ’s arrival, Hawkeye received a surprising call from BJ as it was from Boston.

“I’m sorry, but I won’t make it until ten… maybe eleven pm. The delays are terrible these days,” he huffed and it took just a few sentences for Hawkeye to grasp how nervous his best friend was. His voice was trembling as probably the man himself was, and Hawkeye’s heart throbbed painfully, yet he immediately set his mind on striving to ease his friend’s trouble.

“It’s okay, Beej, I intended on ironing my socks anyway,” he joked before broaching the topic, “Don’t you want to tell me what this is about? It might make the journey easier for you if-“

“No, no, Hawk, I’ll tell you as soon as I’m with you,” BJ was determined before he lapsed into nervousness once again. “And, Hawk… for how long can I stay?”

To be honest, Hawkeye hadn’t been pondering such a question at all as he managed to focus just on the fact he was about to see BJ.

“For how long you want, I suppose. The house’s too big for two people , so you definitely won’t bother either me or my dad,” Hawkeye shrugged.

“Okay, thanks,” BJ said, relief audibly emanating from his voice.

Once they hanged up, BJ’s anxiousness conveyed onto Hawkeye whom started pacing the room, thinking intensively about the things that might have gone wrong in BJ’s life, yet there was one aspect he dreaded to muse on. Sitting down on the couch, he thrust his head into his hands, his heart beating violently, stomach tied up, yet the hope stretching in his chest was too great, too beautiful to feel guilty. Was it possible that…? After those months…?

He sighed tiredly. He wished it was true, but he had never fooled himself that BJ would leave his family for him. He would have never asked him to, but… the more he kept thinking of the way BJ had been avoiding their calls and suddenly reaching out for him physically… He had to admit, it would definitely be the piece fitting into the whole puzzle.

In the end, he somehow managed to spent the whole day on his own without going crazy from worry, and once it was eleven pm, he opened the door, looking outside into the rain that had been pouring for hours. Leaning to the frame, he gazed into the dark of the night, pricking his ears to hear the possible sounds of an engine approaching. He was on needles, his mind couldn’t think of anything else but BJ and the possible images how he could look like now, but almost every single voice was silenced once Hawkeye noticed two nearing lights, and then the car itself.

With his heart in his throat, Hawkeye couldn’t think rationally. Dashing out of the door, he rushed towards BJ as soon as he got out of the car. Neither of them hesitated to squeeze the other in their arms. In the rain, Hawkeye was hanging onto BJ, feeling his chest against his own, smelling his mild perfume, his fingers slipping into BJ’s hair. He closed his eyes under the devastating wave of emotions that flooded him when BJ brushed his hair as well, squeezing him tightly in the hug.

It took some seconds for them to release the other one and once they grinned happily at each other, Hawkeye instantly felt it was going to be alright. Boldly grabbing on BJ’s hand, he tugged him to follow him into the house.

They only reached the porch where they were shielded from the rain and BJ stopped Hawkeye by pulling him back to himself. Hawkeye looked at his best friend in surprise, but by the next moment, he couldn’t breathe due to the softness and tenderness he was looking at him with, and the sadness in wrinkles around his eyes. Swallowing hard, Hawkeye realized BJ’s other hand was clutching on his sweatshirt, drawing him into a kiss.

And Hawkeye didn’t object in the slightest. He sighed into BJ’s lips that felt so perfect on his, and while putting his hands around him again, he kissed BJ deeper, licking his way into his mouth and all of his memories on their hot sessions together were rekindled. BJ was now cupping his face, brushing his cheek tenderly as he was kissing him with urgency that Hawkeye had no issues to understand. He wasn’t able to pull himself away as it felt like he had been waiting for this moment for years… for his whole life, he thought as he remembered that even somebody who was half as good as BJ was not enough.

He shivered violently and his whole body sang with joy once BJ’s hand slipped underneath the layers of clothes, placing his cold palm on the heated skin. Moaning, Hawkeye pressed himself more into BJ, kissing him hungrily, and it took him a while until he noticed the spasms of BJ’s frame and their kiss tasting of salt.

It was like stepping under a cold shower. Right away, Hawkeye withdrew from BJ to meet his eyes that were full of tears. He felt terrible not to notice anything earlier, but now, he couldn’t find any words that would be appropriate to say. He just stared at his crying friend, while the only movement his brain manage to execute regarded Hawkeye’s palm, settling on BJ’s face and brushing one of the tears away.

“Come inside,” he then rasped, voice rough from the emotions taking hold of him. Squeezing BJ’s hand in his own again, he led him into the house where he faced him, finally properly looking into those hazel eyes he would go to the hell and back for.

“What’s going on, BJ?” he asked as gently as he was able to because he was aware he might be the core of BJ’s struggles.

Hawkeye calmed down a bit when BJ stepped aside and took off his jacket, hinting he was, indeed, able to function and take care of himself, yet at the second look at BJ’s face, he witnessed how haunted he looked. He had definitely lost some weight. He was tired and troubled and Hawkeye fought the urge to embrace his again and kiss his pain away. However, he knew they needed to talk first. He would’ve suggested to sit on the couch, but once BJ let out another sob, he stopped thinking of anything else.

“You… you were right, Hawk,” he managed to say before his voice cracked utterly. “I’ve failed. I’ve ruined everything, and you were right. I had promised myself that after the war, I’d return to my family. I believe Peg was the only I could… I wanted to be with. And I tried to be… to be there for her, to be a good husband and father, but… Hawk… I…”

Tears falling down, eyes hanging on Hawkeye’s as were his whole heart and soul.

“I was wrong and I failed at everything because I’ve learnt I cannot live without you at my side,” he revealed, being vulnerable, naked in front of Hawkeye who felt how much it pained BJ to say this. To say that he couldn’t cope with the roles he had believed were meant for him. To admit Peg wasn’t the one he wanted after all…

“You weren’t entirely wrong,” Hawkeye reminded him softly, closing the distance between them. Hearing BJ say these words, deep within his soul sheer joy and guilt were fighting for dominance, yet Hawkeye cared about something else – making BJ feel better. “You promised me to call me in a year after the war. It’s been seven months and you’re in Crabapple Cove,” he smiled at him weakly, knowing it was a shabby attempt. “You tried and failed at something, but accomplished something else. You can’t success in everything.”

“But I was supposed to return to Peg!” BJ shook his head in despair. “And I did, but in my mind, I was still with you. I… I couldn’t eat or sleep… I couldn’t not think of you but for those moments I was spending with Erin. I was at home, but wasn’t at once. In my head, I was still with you,” he whispered, and Hawkeye couldn’t hold himself back anymore.

Encouragingly squeezing BJ’s hand, he inched closer and pulled BJ into a hug, brushing his hair, offering him support. It was tearing his soul apart to see the love of his life to be so down, so desperate…

“I can’t go on like this, Hawk… I can’t!” he sobbed into Hawkeye’s shoulder. “I have never been so unhappy about anything and I hate myself for leaving Peg, but I’m… I’m here with you just for a few seconds and I feel… I feel whole. Safe,” he poured his heart out in Hawkeye’s arms.

“Me too, Beej,” Hawkeye said quietly, letting his purest emotions speak up. “And I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” BJ withdrew, his eyes clear, yet soft and kind when he was looking at Hawkeye, preparing to say what neither of them had never dreamt of saying to another man. “It’s not your fault that I love you.”

Breathless, speechless, Hawkeye’s eyes also filled up with tears, his heart thundering and chest burning with love for this perfect man.

“I love you, too, BJ,” there wasn’t anything else he could say and it was so easy suddenly, so right, and so liberating that he was trembling.

“You mean so much to me that I couldn’t push any thoughts of you again. As I said in Korea, It’s impossible to forget you,” added BJ and smiled a tender smile at Hawkeye, who saw this little gesture as the most beautiful one in the world.

Upon kissing BJ quickly, lovingly, he finally led him to the couch where he asked the question he feared, yet needed to hear an answer to:

“You told Peg, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… I did,” BJ admitted, again seemingly lost in his despair. “I told her that I was in love with you.”

“You did?” Hawkeye raised his eyes in surprise that BJ was so courageous to reveal he was in love with a man. “Wouldn’t she…?”

“No, she wouldn’t have ever used it against me. She’s too good for that,” BJ smiled sadly. “I hurt her, no doubts, but she could also see that I wasn’t myself when I returned. I wasn’t the man she loved once, and… I offered to stay out of the house for some time. Until I… resolve what I want in my life. Who I want in my life,” he gave Hawkeye a fond look before he continued: “So I packed, kissed Erin goodbye, and caught a plane to Boston.”

“Why Boston?” Hawkeye inquired, both curious about this choice and careful not to talk about Erin much as he didn’t want to upset BJ anymore.

“I asked myself the same question at first,” BJ chuckled. “I knew I needed to be alone and somewhere far from Mill Valley to think, and the flight to Boston was quite cheap and honestly, it was about to take off in an hour when I arrived at the airport. Then I was glad to go to Boston because I happen to know a certain pompous titan in there. It was kind of soothing I would have someone to ask for help if I was in need.”

“Charles wouldn’t have hesitated,” Hawkeye was sure about that. “You’re never alone, Beej,” he assured him, brushing the top of his hand with his finger.

“Yeah… Thanks, Hawk, for being here for me. For being here with me,” BJ smiled tenderly at his best friend, scuttling closer to him, and bringing their lips together in a sweet, hope in bright future igniting kiss.

“We’ll figure it out,” said Hawkeye then, and he meant it. There was nothing that could stop him from loving BJ and despite the obstacles the future might have for them, he couldn’t be any happier.

“We will,” BJ agreed, his eyes still mirroring sadness and desperation, though the gleam of happiness was shining brighter and brighter. “I’d use a drink,” he sighed, “and bed. Not necessarily in this order,” he grinned at Hawkeye who reciprocated the gesture which didn’t aim only at his heart.

He sensed that celebrating their reunion with drinking wasn’t the best idea as there was much pain intact in BJ’s soul, yet the other option was an irresistible one. Getting up, he tugged at BJ’s hand, and smiling at him, he asked:

“Will you sleep with me tonight, handsome?”

“I will,” BJ rose to his feet as well, ending up in Hawkeye’s arms again. “And hopefully, I’m not asking for the moon if I wish to stay with you not only for tonight…”

“No, you’re not,” Hawkeye caressed his face lovingly. “You’re asking for me, and that I cannot deny you.”

Kissing again the love of his life, he was suddenly ever so grateful his father had decided to leave the house, otherwise he would’ve been wondering why his son and his best friend were so rushing upstairs. Or maybe he wouldn’t have been because upon hearing just one sound of a closed door, he would have had his hypothesis completely confirmed.

XXXXX

In the end, they figured everything out by settling in Boston that was full of opportunities for skilled doctors. Hawkeye was able to drive home any time he pleased even though it took some hours, while BJ had great flight connection with San Francisco there. It was far from ideal as the both of them weren’t living with those meaning a lot for them anymore, but Boston seemed like a smart compromise. Moreover, it was also a great place for holding reunions of their former comrades in arms, including the one organized five years after the war’s end.

A week before the party, Erin spent some time with them, so both BJ and Hawkeye were positively beaming with happiness once they retired home after the busy week peaking in the weekend dedicated to heavy drinking.

“Thanks, Beej,” Hawkeye smiled at the man of his life when he was handed a glass of whisky. They were lying in each other’s arms on the couch, enjoying the quiet company, letting the experience of the reunion sink in. “You know, I’ve been thinking…”

“Here we go again. I’ve told you numerous time it hurts you,” BJ murmured, face buried in Hawkeye’s shoulder.

“Hey, I wanted to say you were right and now I don’t want to anymore because you’re so mean to me,” Hawkeye pouted his lips, looking all offended, but once BJ chuckled and looked at him expectantly from the close proximity, he conceded. “You promised that five years after the war we’d meet up. And we did. You were right about it.”

BJ smiled lovingly at Hawkeye, yet the hint of mischief hadn’t faded away from his hazel eyes.

“Didn’t you forget something? Didn’t you want to add something?” he grinned, quite sure that Hawkeye remembered what he meant.

“Oh, now you’re listening,” Hawkeye shook his head, but because he loved BJ very dearly, he only pecked his lips and said what was left to say: “You are the best man in the world I could have ever met, BJ Hunnicutt.”

“I couldn’t agree more, Hawk,” BJ kept grinning, moving forward to capture Hawk’s lips by his own, letting him know that the feeling was very, very much mutual.

**Author's Note:**

> I try to add new chapters as soon as possible :)
> 
> Still, it's probably the only fiction I'm writing on BJ and Hawkeye as I'm seriously in love with Hawkeye/Charles for years and... I've found it really difficult not to include Charles in the story . My heart cries at that.


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